Hotel Damages
by greengirl82
Summary: A hotel comes collecting from Hotch, Emily, JJ and Dave claiming that they checked in as married couples and trashed the room. Three shot. COMPLETED.
1. A Man Walks In With A Bill

**Hotel Damages**

Disclaimer: **Sighs** Seems that CBS owns Criminal Minds, not me. **Pouts** I'm not going to cry...

Summary: A hotel comes collecting from Hotch, Emily, JJ and Dave, claiming they checked in as two married couples and trashed the room.

A/N: This is one of my original favorites, and since it has sequels I decided to post them with this in a multi chapter series of oneshots. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

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><p>Benjamin Franklin said, "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead."<p>

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><p>Emily was sitting at her desk talking with JJ who sat at the edge amidst the case files and papers, both not noticing that up in Hotch's office Dave and he where watching over the two ladies in the bullpen.<p>

"It keeps getting worse and worse, Aaron." Dave said his eyes traveling tp the blonde talking to her friend.

"Mm hmm" Hotch hummed, smiling to himself watching the brunette laughing carefree.

Both men notice a well dressed man enter the bullpen talking to Anderson who pointed over to the female agents.

As the women looked up at the man listening to whatever he spoke, both women's faces clouded over with anger turning towards Hotch's office glaring at the men.

"Hotch!" Emily shouted leading the man up to the office.

JJ trailed behind them, both women ignoring the inquiring eyes of Garcia, Reid and Morgan.

"What was that about?" Reid asked.

"I don't know" Garcia said "But I intend to find out."

The blonde technical analyst saw the door slam to Hotch's office as the ladies and suited man enter.

Garcia pulled the men with her up the stairs to Dave's office to eavesdrop.

"Prentiss?" Hotch asked sitting down in his seat "What's going on?"

"Oh what's going on?" Emily repeated "I'll tell you what's going on. Tell them."

"Aaron Hotchner? David Rossi?" the man said "I'm Noah Reynolds. I work with the Stanton Hotel in Kansas City."

"Oh" Hotch and Dave said, each exchanging looks than looking over at the two angry women.

"What seems to be the trouble?" Hotch asked.

"It's came to our attention during your stay six weeks ago, you destroyed the room and yet to pay the damages." Reynolds said "And our hotel manager decided to face you directly instead of sending you into court."

"I see" Hotch nodded, looking over at Dave "How much is the bill?"

"Ten thousand dollars Reynolds said looking at the men and the women.

"WHAT?" Garcia and Morgan shouted.

"That is the cost for the damage you made to the room plus compensation." Reynolds said looking at the men.

"Ten thouand...?" Hotch repeated than looked over at Dave "Well pay the man."

"Me? I didn't damage the room" Dave pointed to JJ and Emily, "It was those two."

"Us?" JJ said "Excuse me, I don't think so."

"Yeah" Emily said "We weren't the ones who ripped the painting off the wall and threw it through the window."

"I'd rather not think about that" Hotch muttered, rubbing his temples.

"Look, it was the both of you and your wives here who caused the damages" Reynolds said "We don't care who cuts the check, just as long as it gets to us before the end of business day Monday. Otherwise we move forward with a lawsuit."

Reynolds opened the door flinching at the sight of Reid, Morgan and Garcia moving away from the door.

"Did he just say wives?" Morgan repeated looking from Garcia to the four in Hotch's office looking guilty.

"I believe he did" Garcia said pushing passed Morgan to enter "So who wants to go first?"

"Go first with what?" JJ asked.

"About the hotel damages of course" Garcia said "Oh and the little thing like why he called you their wives."

"Yeah about that..." Emily said looking from Hotch to JJ and Dave "I'd rather not."

"Too bad" Garcia sang out, looking over to JJ who wouldn't meet her eye, Dave who held no emotion in his.

Garcia didn't even bother to look in Hotch's for fear of her own safety.

"So spill it" Garcia said sitting down on Hotch's couch making herself comfortable while Morgan and Reid joined her.

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><p>Emily looked from JJ to the two men who all vowed to remain quit about that incident six weeks ago.<p>

"I guess I'll go first" Emily started with a sigh.

"Why you first?" Dave asked raising an eyebrow.

"Because we're ladies" JJ said seeing the eye rolls of Hotch and Dave.

"Well, it all started six weeks ago when we took the road trip, remember?" Emily said "We went to a hotel for the night."

Garcia nodded her head and gave her a look that said continue.

"Well when we went to the hotel, they only had one room with two beds." Emily said seeing Garcia's eyes widen at that.

"One room?" Morgan said eyebrow raised.

"Only two beds?" Reid said confused.

"And it was a hotel that was really super duper religious, Kansas City, go figure" Emily muttered "We had to play the roles of two married couples, just to get that last room. Everywhere else was full."

Garcia's mouth dropped open.

"The beds where really big and spacious so we decided the girls would be in one bed and those two in the other." Emily sighed, "So we were getting ready to head to bed when these two here decided they'd rather change the sleeping arrangements."

"Change the arrangements?" Reid asked furrowing his eyebrows, looking at the guys who were glaring at the two women.

"And stay in the bed with their so called wives" JJ contributed.

Morgan and Garcia's jaws dropped looking at the two men. Hotch shook his head, while Dave rolled his eyes.

"WHAT?" Morgan said.

"These two here decided for some reason, that a road trip, with no one else but us here calling us wives was the perfect place to bust a move on us" Emily said.

"Bust a move?" Hotch repeated "WE were perfect gentlemen. You two were the aggressors."

"That's a damn lie!" JJ shouted "You both were wild men!"

"Wild men?" Dave said "All we wanted was the window open to let in some air, you both stripped down to your bras and panties claiming the heat was getting to you and kept trying to get us in your bed to help cool you down."

"Ah that's a load of crap" Emily protested "We were trying to get to sleep and when we opened our eyes you two were staring at us from the other bed like a couple kind demented peeping toms, perverts."

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><p>Morgan, Reid and Garcia watched the two interacted back and forth claiming each other were the ones were the reason for the damage.<p>

"You're the one that threw the damn painting threw the window!" JJ told Dave "I was grabbing it to stop you!"

"No, you threw it threw the window" Dave retorted.

"Well we all know that Emily here is the one that busted the fan off the ceiling when she threw that blanket from the bed" Hotch pointing the finger at her.

"So not true!" Emily said "I threw the blankets at you so you wouldn't jump me on my bed!"

"I threw you on the bed to get you to stop trying to hop on me to screw me" Hotch said.

Morgan and Garcia were so enthralled they didn't notice Strauss standing in the doorway, watching in awe of her agents.

"Cool it" Reid whispered to the four as Strauss knocked on the door frame.

"Agent Hotchner?" Strauss said.

"Ma'am?" Hotch tearing his glare away from Emily to Strauss.

"Would you mind keeping it down," Strauss said "I've received complaints from three other team leaders about your loud discussion."

"Certainly ma'am" Hotch told her.

Strauss turned to leave, pausing midstep before looking back at Hotch, "Oh and Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes?" Hotch replied hoping she'd leave so he could blame Emily for the mess and the bill.

"The Bureau footed the bill for you're away trip that included the damage to the hotel room" Strauss said "Please be careful in the future not to damage anymore hotels and hotel beds."

Everyone stood in shock as Strauss added "I did speak with the maid who burst in on you and Agent Rossi having inappropriate relations with Agents Prentiss and Jareau."

"Oh they were?" Garcia asked hoping she'd elaborate.

"Seems these two were in the throws of passion and broke both beds, a window and a fan" Strauss said closing the door smirking at outing the two couples that had yet to disclose their relationship status.

"Ha ha. Busted!" Garcia said smirking at the two couples who were beet red.

"So, you all damaged the hotel room?" Morgan said while Reid looked down at the ground glad he could finally not look at the two couples.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far" Emily said sputtering looking at her cohorts.

"I'd rather not discuss it" JJ said heading for an exit followed by Dave.

"Oh we will be having this conversation..." Garcia said "You can't hide from me forever."

"Well look at the time, it's lunchtime." Emily said heading for the exit with Hotch trailing behind her.

Garcia looked from Reid to Morgan and said "Who'd you rather interrogate Hotch and Emily or JJ and Dave?"

"I think I'll take Dave and JJ" Morgan said heading for their office.

"Goodie" Garcia said watching her favorite brunette duo heading for the elevators "This is going to be so much fun."

The analyst headed for her office with loads of ideas in her mind at getting the answers she wanted.

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><p>"The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep." Edgar Watson Howe<p>

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><p><strong>To Be Continued... <strong>

I hope you all enjoy this, don't forget to leave a review.


	2. Interrogation

**Hotel Damages**

Disclaimer: I, in no way, shape or form own anything connected with Criminal Minds. Got it?

Summary: Garcia interrogates Hotch, Emily, JJ and Dave to find out the truth behind their relationships...

A/N: So this had originally planned to be separate oneshots but I decided that I'd post these as a three chapter fic for this series. So here's chapter two of the long awaited Hotel Damages series. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

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><p>Friedrich Nietzsche said, "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."<p>

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><p>Garcia stood in front of the two couple in the break room, giving each of them all a long hard stare as she started to pace around the desk.<p>

"You all know why you're here" Garcia began and said "So don't even think of trying to worm your way out of this."

"Garcia, look..." Hotch started but was cut off by a look directed at him.

"You will not speak unless spoken to" she emphasized "I've got my muscles here to back me up."

The four look first at Kevin and hold in a laugh, Reid and find it amusing than at a buffed out looking Morgan and contemplate this situation.

"Look, Garcia, we have actual work to do" JJ started, pausing when she saw Morgan shoot her a look of silence.

"No you don't, Strauss put us all on stand down" Garcia informed the group, "I can make sure it stays that way unless I start getting some answers."

"Can I get a 'hoo ha sergeant'?" Emily muttered under her breath hearing Hotch, JJ and Dave laugh at the comparison of Garcia to a drill sergeant.

"What was that Princess?" Morgan said from his place standing in front of the door.

"Why is our private lives under the microscope?" Emily said to which JJ nodded her head in agreement.

"Oh I don't know probably because you four caused ten thousand dollars worth of damages to a hotel room" Garcia reminded the pair.

"Still say it wasn't my fault" JJ muttered under her breath.

Hotch and Dave flashed the petite blonde a look.

"What?" JJ asked, glaring at the two men.

"Getting back to the matter at hand, just answer a few simple questions and you'll all be free to go" Garcia told the four.

"What kind of questions?" Dave asked suspiciously.

"Any kind I find relevant" Garcia said.

"Fine" Emily groaned, stretching her arms then looked up at the blonde, "Let's get this over with."

"Goody Gumdrop" Garcia said clapping her hands "How long have you been seeing each other?"

Emily looked over at Hotch who just shrugged his shoulders indicating for her to answer.

"A little over eight months" Emily said shocking the interrogators.

"Eight months?" Garcia said in wonderment "What the hell was I doing that I didn't notice?"

"Probably doing Kevin" Emily said earning snickers from her fellow prisoners.

"Ha ha, very funny" Kevin grumbled, looking over at Garcia who didn't seem to care more interested in the length of the two's dating status.

"How about you Jayje?" Garcia asked the younger woman "How long have you and the Italian Stallion here been together?"

Dave looked over at his girl who was more intent with looking at her hands than answering the interrogators question.

"Three months" Dave answered looking down at his watch, wondering how long this would take.

"Three months?" Garcia repeated "I gotta start snooping better you four flew right underneath my glittery radar."

Morgan felt glad that the four had found happiness, chuckled when Emily and JJ shot Garcia looks to ask if the inquisition was over.

"Look are we done now?" Emily asked using an authoritative tone that usually would work if her cheeks weren't so pink with embarrassment.

"I mean it is our personal life, why do you find it so interesting?" JJ asked rubbing her forehead.

"Because mine is not as fascinating as you all with dating members of your team" Garcia said looking over at Kevin, "No offense dumpling, but this is just too juicy not to be interested in."

"None taken, I think." Kevin said.

"Are we done yet?" Hotch asked looking at his cell phone praying for interruption even from the Ice Queen herself.

Garcia sighed, nodding for Morgan to unlock the door "I guess for now."

Sighing with relief the four got up and waited for Morgan to move from the door to make an exit.

"But if any of you end up engaged or pregnant than we'll be doing this again real soon" Garcia called out, watching them leave the room.

The four left the conference room with dread.

"Hide your ring" Hotch told Emily.

"Don't think of throwing up in the bathrooms on this floor, she probably planted cameras everywhere" Dave whispered to JJ.

"Crap" Emily muttered turning her ring around.

"I'm going to kill her" JJ grumbled, "Justifiable homicide, I think I can get away with that."

Morgan looked down to the bullpen, before turning to the two computer analysis, "You know they all walked out of here scared."

"That my chocolaty God is why the good Lord invented hackers" Garcia said "Now hack away to see if there are any big purchases to see if my gumdrops are engaged or expecting bundles of joy."

"Can't we just give them their privacy?" Kevin asked sitting in front of his lap top feeling guilty.

"Um... Hello have we met?" Garcia said "Do I look like the type of person to respect people's privacy?"

"Guess not" Kevin muttered getting to work.

"This is going to be so good" Garcia said, clapping her hands in excitement then started hacking away.

"Here we go again" Morgan muttered with an eye roll before turning his attention to the four in the bullpen.

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><p>Pietro Aretino said, "I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies."<p>

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><p><strong>To Be Concluded... <strong>

Well, what did you think? See that funny looking box below? Yeah, that one. How about leaving a review.


	3. Caught Ya!

**Hotel Damages**

Disclaimer: So it seems that my secret plot to get Criminal Minds for myself has failed. **Sighs** Guess I'll just have to go back to trying to take over the world. Hey where are Pinky and the Brain?

Summary: Garcia digs deeper to find out the truth on her two favorite new couples. With the help of Kevin, Morgan and Reid will she uncover what Hotch and Emily, JJ and Dave are hiding?

A/N: The final chapter in this series, I hope you all enjoyed this.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

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><p>Mother Teresa said, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."<p>

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><p>Garcia walked around her office while Kevin was hacking through the files, having left the conference room to avoid the detection of her boss man, his girl Friday, Jayje and her Italian Stallion.<p>

"Anything yet?" Garcia asked, walking over to Kevin and peering over his shoulder.

"Almost have it" Kevin said, clicking away on the keyboard "Who would have thought that there'd be so much red tape around credit card protection."

"To protect the cardholders from identity thieves" the blonde replied, feeling a rise in her stomach, "Besides it's not like that we don't know all this anyways we've just got..."

The ping of the computer interrupted her comment, quickly rushing over to it only to hear Kevin gasped, "Oh boy."

Looking up from the computer screen Garcia turned to her boyfriend with a shocked look on her face, "Wow."

"What?" the pair asked each other shocked by their own findings.

"She's pregnant!" Kevin said while Garcia shried in excitement, "He bought an engagement ring!"

"What?" they asked in unison.

"JJ's pregnant" Kevin said "Credit card statement for a crib and prescription of prenatal vitamins."

"How far along?" Garcia asked "It's so obviously Dave's."

"I'm not violating HIPPA laws" Kevin said "Just ask her. Now what about an engagement ring?"

"Hotch bought Emily a diamond engagement ring" Garcia said happily "Cost a pretty penny too."

"Wow" Kevin replied, "Are you going to tell Morgan and Reid?"

"Better than that" Garcia smirked, a mischievous grin growing across her face, "I've got an idea."

"Why am I not comforted by those words?" Kevin replied to her with fear across his face.

"Aw, come on Kevy" Garcia purred, walking over to him batting her eyelashes "Are all my ideas that bad?"

"If it means violating peoples personal information than yeah it is" Kevin muttered, helplessly looking at the computer before closing the window.

"It's a good one, I promise and don't worry it doesn't involve hacking or digging into people's personal life" Garcia promised.

"Promise?" Kevin asked warily, while she nipped on his earlobe.

"On my hard drive I swear it" Garcia said going for her phone "Just got to call in reinforcements."

Kevin sighed when he was handed a list of tasks to do.

"Why the hell were we called in so late for a profile?" Emily asked "It's not like we're flying out or anything. We're still on stand down."

"I don't know" Hotch replied, looking over at her.

"Let's just get this over with before the nausea comes back" JJ muttered wearily, her blue eyes scanning the dark bullpen.

Making their way up to the conference room, they are all stunned into shocked silence at the images before them.

"What is this?" Dave asked finding his voice first.

"Oh a little party to celebrate the new bundle of joy joining us soon" Garcia said "And the wedding to be for our boss man and Gumdrop."

"Oh..." Emily started.

"My..." JJ added.

"God" Both girls muttered while the bubbly analyst rushed over giving the two women a bear hug.

"Now see isn't wise to listen to me?" Garcia told the girls who had big smiles on their faces.

"What seems to be going on in here?" Strauss said pulling everyone out of their festive mood.

"A little party" Garcia said.

"A party?" Strauss repeated "To celebrate what?"

"Just a party" Morgan answered smoothly

"Congratulations..." Strauss read slowly, "On the baby."

Strauss scanned the group before her eyes landed on the three BAU women, "Which one of you ladies is having a baby?"

JJ's eyes widened, exhaling she softly answered "Me."

"Congratulations Agents Jareau and Rossi" Strauss warmly replied, then looked over at Hotch and Emily "And congratulations to on your upcoming wedding."

Hotch and Emily's jaws dropped and turn to glare at Garcia who shook her head.

"How'd you know, ma'am?" Hotch asked.

"Judging by the diamond ring on Agent Prentiss' hand, I'd take it that it did not come out of a ceral box" Strauss answered then walking out of the room with a smile on her face, "Don't forget to disclose this on Monday with HR."

Morgan busted out laughing "Oh man the looks on your faces."

"Very funny, Derek" JJ muttered only earning a shoulder rub from Dave.

"OK, who wants cake and ice cream?" Garcia asked only to see JJ run from the room holding her stomach and covering her mouth with her hand.

"Why do they call it morning sickness if it happens all the time?" Reid asked innocently.

Everyone else laughed while Emily went to check on her friend "Might not want to mention cake and ice cream, PG."

"Ok boys." Garcia asked when's the big days?" Garcia asked nosey "Better tell me the truth or we'll go over all this mess again."

Hotch and Dave exchanged looks and knew it was better to just tell her and save them all the hassle of the earlier drama.

"In March" Hotch answered "No final date set, yet."

"JJ's due in May" Dave answered "Don't know the gender."

"Good boys" Garcia said "Now see how much easier things are if you just do it my way?"

Kevin shook his head in a sigh, while Reid just smirk and Morgan laughed.

JJ and Emily returned while Garcia smiled at the two, "Now I've got to ask, who's going to be the bridesmaid and Godmother?"

Hotch and Dave exchanged worried looks while the two female agents happily unwrapped their presents.

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><p>"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world." Brandi Snyder<p>

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><p><strong>The End <strong>

I hope you all enjoyed this story, don't forget to drop a review while you're at it.


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